The
first rays of sun die into heavy morning; a tired morning; a morning
devoid of great expectations. Blank faces and lethargic bodies mill
onto the platform as the trains come and go in a blurring whirlwind
of noise and dull metal. I have joined the ranks of part-time
nine-to-fives and I make the most of it. Short-lived. Smiling at
others for several moments in my fresh-faced naivete, I feel like a
fool when my attempts at beauty are met with vacuous stares that
reach beyond me though they look at me, through me. The Train
comes.
Ours
is a holocaust of a different kind. Hitler is known for packing
precious humanity onto cattle cars and sending them to their deaths.
Cramming onto the train full of distracted, aching, numb souls, the
semblance between genocide and mass soul-death at the luminous hands
of mobile media sinks into my stomach like a steel ball. Why won't
anyone smile back? Please, somebody. Smile back.
Drowning.
Swaying.
Drowning.
Choking
on the apathy.
Light.
I
remember light. I was reading Isaiah today, and now I understand
something a little better: my role in this. 60, verse 2. "For
behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness the
peoples; but the Lord will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen
upon you." I see this darkness on the platform, on the train, in
the vague stares of the crowd, even in my job, where I had hoped to
find hope.
No,
not here.
Jesus
is my hope, and this is yet another heavy reminder that only in Him
is light. And now in me. The Lord has arisen upon me. Now, Oh Lord,
let your glory be seen upon me. This world; this train needs glory
and beauty. Make it yours.
I
am not drowning anymore. Jesus pulls me into light and I become it. I
am not used to daily blankness, cattlecars, or the numbing monotony
in between, but sweetly, I am not used to Jesus either, in a way that
surprises me into a fuller relationship with Him over and over again.
Being
light in a thick darkness is extremely difficult. There is no easy
way to be so, and yet in Christ, it is impossible to be blotted out
by the charcoal smears of apathy either.
"You
are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden."
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